Crazy Christmas

Hey-o. So it's been a while since the last post (maybe not as long as other posts though. Just maybe.). It's almost the holidays! How exciting! Well, a lot of things has happened since the last time. Things have been a bit much and whatnot. Apparently, also, I say "whatnot" a lot, which I'm not denying, but what other ways are there to say whatever else? Or ... maybe stuff. But either way, I think "whatnot" is better than "stuff" or they're about the same.
Anyways, it's winter break and I'm spending it with a different friend this time. :) How exciting. I get to view the views and see the places and explore. I'm still in Pennsylvania in this break, but I'm still having a bunch of fun. So close to New York, New York, but at the same time, not. Anyways, this friend of mine has a fun family, which is nice. I'm fitting right in! Maybe.... Actually, they just seem fairly accepting (Whew... I almost said exciting, which wasn't the word I was looking for).
What else has happened... Well, the semester has ended, and I feel like I haven't done the best. I wish I could have changed that, but I had a lack of motivation (for lack of a better word, right?). Also, I got fired from my job. Yippee.. Not. The reason(s) was/were stupid, but it's really whatever now. I wasn't that happy as of lately working there anyway, and the new people coming in weren't exactly my cup of tea. I could come up with a bunch of other excuses, but let's just say it was for the better. A good three months, first job, working and whatnot (there I go again with the whatnot). Anyway, I could start searching for a new job, starting fresh, or maybe just focus on my school work (which is really the important thing that I should be doing). But then again, I feel bad for the loans that are piling up on my family. They only mention  it once in a while, but it seems like they're struggling a bit, and I'm just here, doing whatever I want... I'm not even planning to go back home until the summer. I almost considered just dropping out of school and heading back home, but not really home towards the end of the semester though. That was freaky... scary. Things just have been much for me.
Too many thoughts... I like to money and I like to do things that I want to do without no regards to other people. I tend to think too much, like when the semester was starting to end, I got sad because of all the people I probably won't see ever again. Is that bad of me? I like to meet people, I like to be around people, but at the same time, I don't quite like people. I'm apparently complicated or something... I feel like a misanthrope, but at the same time, I don't like being alone. I like the attention... a lot, and that's bad of me. I think of how I'm a horrible person, but at the same time, I'm a good, nice person. Which one is it? Being in psychology for the first semester, I'm thinking that maybe I have conflicted thoughts and that probably isn't helping my situation. (It shows how I'm such a good student that I can't even remember the terminology).
I also plan to re-take some classes over the summer, which is a waste of money, I get that... But I'm trying to try. I'm trying to be a good student, a good daughter, a good person. It might mean that I would only be home for a month or so, but maybe it's worth it. I'm sure my family misses me, and they might be in a financial situation, but I should finish school. I can't give up now. I should try to better myself. I am going to better myself. One little step at a time.
If you hadn't noticed, I'm so scatter-brained. I'm sure this post had its twists and turns, but that's how I'm feeling right now. Hopefully things will get better. I'm planning on having some better New Year's Resolutions and hopefully get through those. (Preview: Meet a certain amount of people in my residence hall; Receive chocolates and/or flowers from a guy - preferably on Valentine's Day; Get a 3.0 GPA for the spring semester).