Friday, August 10, 2012

Frustration Arises

I keep on telling myself that I should sleep earlier... But that doesn't happen. In fact, I might actually be sleeping later and later when I say that. Except, I have been becoming more and more tired. I also tell myself that I should be doing things like read more and organize my things (music, external hard-drive, room), but that seems to be pushed aside for the time being. I'm always thinking that I have so much time to do things and I end up wasting the time - listening to music on repeat and constantly checking my emails and Facebook.
My sleeping schedule needs to be fixed. My thoughts on this: If I sleep earlier, then hang out with friends with whom I usually stay out late, I might be too tired to safely drive home. If I sleep earlier, I would still be sleeping later when I come to the time change (my new school is like two-three time zones away). Even if I get my sleeping schedule to any form of good, it's going to be ruined because I have an overnight flight to my new school. I also don't know when my classes are going to be, so I'm not sure if I have to wake up early or if I get to sleep in or what.
Anyways, time still passes slowly. Too slow. I've meant to clean my room and get it organized, but my excuse is that I can't pack my clothes yet, since I'm still going to be wearing clothes (because... I'm not not going to wear clothes). Another excuse (that I give myself) is that I have a sort of organization with certain things that I have to pack away. For example, one box I am packing away is exclusively for publications, stickers, random pictures or articles, and whatnot that I may want to use for scrap-booking in the future (or just because I like the pictures or also because I'm sort of collecting these things now). Another box is for school-related "junk" like old awards, letters, (class-/home-) work, and the sorts. Then the last box I have is for personal belongings that I might not ever have use for ever again, or may be keeping for the memories because I'm a pack-rat. So, I suppose as the time comes closer for the BIG move, I'll actually be done with all the organization for my room. As for other parts of my life, I'm not so sure. Maybe all I need is time.
So, what I've done for the past couple days is fairly boring. At least to me. I pretty much did nothing besides being by my lonesome for a majority of it. I've been disturbed while I was slumbering quite a couple of times (it partly may be my fault for sleeping in, but also, there are some random spam numbers that are calling me for who knows what). I've been out and about at times, buying incense and using them while I can (since I don't believe my school allows them - fire hazard, I suppose); I've been getting drinks and food, like Quiche Lorraine, Turkey/Bacon/Avocado sandwich, Iced White Mocha, Iced Thai Tea, and the sorts; and mainly, I've been waiting for plans I made. These plans include going to two concerts (which I think may be my last for a while - I've lost the enthusiasm for them for the time being), and hanging out with friends. As for the rest of the time, I have no idea. I suppose I would hope I would be doing fun and worth-while things, but I don't know. Most of the time, I've been reflecting, and I'm sure I will be continuing to reflect. In my opinion, it's too much reflection for myself to handle.
For now, I suppose I shall try to get work done. I shall (hopefully) read more, clean more, organize and prepare more. Instead of wasting time, I shall look for ways to better use my time. Wish me luck!

P.S. Another frustration: Forming a conversation with my ex-boyfriend, which never leads anywhere good. My afterthoughts: Why did I even do that? What had I hoped to accomplish?
Answers to my afterthoughts: No answers. At all.
Post-afterthoughts: Am I being a drama-queen? Perhaps, although, I would like to think that I'm just voicing myself. And I mean, who isn't a "drama-queen." Really. Maybe sometimes, we just need times like that.

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