Troubling Times

Oooh. Troubling Times.... but not really. Maybe. Anyways, right now I'm just waiting for one of my other classes to start. I still have about an hour. Too much time, eh? Well, actually, I was planning on having breakfast, but my roommate is still asleep, so I decided to just have a snack (Cheesecake Brownie from Starbucks) and a drink (Venti White Mocha with caramel drizzle, kid's temperature, and vanilla syrup). I also decided to just write in this here blog, which I believe is the first time for this new semester (not the New Year! - since I think I wrote here sometime around New Year's).
Let's see... What's been up? Well, I'm liking my classes more or less. I've got Statistics, Developmental Psychology, Chemistry, Symbolic Logic (math-ish! FUN! I love math :D ), and.... Rhetoric! (the ellipses were purely because I had to think in that time since I knew I had about one more class). I realized that I feel a bit uncomfortable that some people I met last semester are in some of my classes (don't get me wrong, it's nice to talk to them, but..) because I realized that it makes it harder for me to meet new people. When I find out that people I know are in my class, and especially if I sit next to them, I'm taking the time away from meeting new people and I also feel weird meeting new people. This is different from last semester since I didn't know anyone in the beginning and I didn't have to worry about this problem. Well, I'm sure it'll be fine and anyway, there's my New Year's Resolution of meeting so many people, so there! I have already met at least 10 people, so yay!
What else.... Troubling Times? I woke up at 3 in the morning to have a bloody nose the other day (meaning yesterday). Why? Not quite sure. I didn't plan it, but it just happened. That was a bit of a scare because it seemed like more blood than usual (not to gross anyone out). So yeah, that was a fun time... Waking up in the middle of the night to get a bloody nose to go back to sleep to wake up early. I  also realized that I tend to stress myself out by thinking too much (wait, I knew that already), but it's become even more apparent in recent times. I start thinking about things that aren't as big a deal right now, but still... Like, taking out loans... I'm not sure how that'll all work out... Also, how my classes are going to go... Also, recently, I've becoming more and more irritated at people in general, and I feel bad about that. I'm sure most of it is my fault, but it kind of is also the people's faults. Why are people so annoying? And/Or dumb? And whatnot. (A friend of mine pointed out that I say "whatnot" a lot - whatever! It's better than saying "and stuff" a lot, isn't it?). People make me stressed out... I make myself stressed out. I think I'm becoming more and more claustrophobic. I noticed that I like talking about myself a lot (but by noticing that, it makes me really annoyed at myself and I just want to punch myself in the face). I might develop panic attacks, or at least I feel like I have a hard time breathing when I think about a lot of things like this, or maybe I just hold my breath because... just because. A lot of things happen and they happen quickly. I want things to happen quickly, but then they end up happening slowly.
Wow, life is a bit much for me. Thinking, thinking. I want to do so many things, but instead, I'm on the internet, not doing much, procrastinating. I want to stop procrastinating, or at least procrastinating less. *sigh* I tend to blame other people. I blame other things, but I also blame myself. I want to travel. I want to study abroad (maybe grad. school in England!). I want to experience things. I want to earn money. I want to design my own house. I want to make my own clothes (since I'm picky about things). I want to eat all these different foods (in time, not exactly like a fatty). I want to go back home for a bit. I want to get over my ex-boyfriend (I feel like I'm over him, but maybe I just really hate him). I want to have a boyfriend. I want to have meaning in life. I want to be someone who can be considered successful (especially in my own eyes). I want to achieve great things. I want. I want. I want.
I know that if I want something I should just do it, or whatever, but that's hard to do in such little time. I think that time moves so slowly and I'm sure I could do more than half of those things, but I want them to happen now. Or if people say to just do it anyway, they don't understand that these things happen with time. There's so much pressure. Ahhhh.
Anyways, until next time!