So, it's about 5 in the morning here. I actually woke up at about 3:45 or so, and couldn't go back to sleep, and now here I am. I decided to hit the showers and get a head-start on my day... I guess. I'm actually just on my laptop in the dark in my dorm room because my roommate is sleeping. I've been listening to Coldplay's Don't Panic (on repeat) because it's quite lovely. "We live in a beautiful world."
I'm hoping I'm not waking or keeping my roommate up because of my loud, incessant clickity-clacking (typing on the keyboard). And also, I'm just doing blind crafts because I don't want to turn the light on. Whooooo... I guess we'll see how that turns out.
My sister apparently got me this 3-month plan food-care-package thing, and I'm worried that I'll be leaving before that last package arrives. I have to wait until a better time to ask her about it, since it's even earlier where she is. But, I really am excited to get these packages, and it's not just because they're food... Maybe. But, thinking about it now, I am a bit hungry... Breakfast doesn't start for another 2 hours pretty much.
Spring Break is next week... Wonder how that's going to go. Quiche Sundays might be put on hold, but then there's Saints Saturdays (aka coffee and quiche).
I hadn't asked my roommate yet, but I got a text from a friend asking if they could spend the night later tonight, and I said they could. Pfft. They offered to pay, but that's ridiculous, right? Friends shouldn't have to pay unless they really want to. I welcome my friends with open arms. Unless I'm not comfortable with human contact at the time... Then I welcome them... With mental open arms.
I'm a bit worried about taxes also. I have no idea how to do that. And I don't know when I should do that... Maybe soon I guess. I don't know anything anymore. Like, the FAFSA? What do I do?! *worry* I should probably get on that... Maybe, now's the opportune time to get that done.
I think I'm started to get a bit tired, but I already started my day! I mean, I'm not fully dressed yet (meaning I'm in my pjs and not real clothes, not that pjs aren't real clothes). Hmm...
I've had the phrase, "for sh*ts and gigs" (I know it's really "giggles" but hey... my head, my thoughts) stuck in my head for the past 8 hours or so... I don't really know why, but that made me think again about my use of profanity (or lack thereof, really). I mean, it's no big deal really, but I just feel uncomfortable to use such words.
Today's a fairly busy day. Breakfast. Class. Break-time. Lunch To-Go. Eye Appointment. Class. Class. Class. Break-time. Dinner? Club. Club. Club. Hang out with friend? Let other friend sleep over. Sleep. Not sure how this is going to go over.
So, I recently tried Italian Wedding soup and I actually really enjoyed it. But, now the dining commons is lying about serving it because they really mean Shrimp Corn soup or something of that variation. So, their menu lies, and that makes me sad. This isn't the first time. But today, I really hope there is Shepherd's Pie for lunch. I like that too. I can't wait for the next time they have Italian Wedding soup though. And then I also want tater tots sometime soon... We shall see how that turns out.
I've been asking a lot of people to hang out and stuff, but there aren't definite plans. I feel a bit bad because I feel like they might not ever happen and are just wishful words. I really do want to hang out with these people, but since I like planning things, it's hard to get definite plans (especially since things never really go according to plan), and also, I wouldn't like being stood up... Fear of Rejection. *sigh*
Also, I want to make more friends. I think alcohol helps me socialize, but that isn't to say that I'm dependent on the alcohol, because if you know me, I can talk to people. And I dislike the phrase "liquid courage" for alcohol because even if that is true, I feel like it's not what I want from it.
I don't know. I suppose that's good for now. I've passed by a good 45 minutes. 'Til next time!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Experimental Experience
So, my school has this thing called, "State Patty's Day." I wonder what school I go to, right? Gee. But, anyways, yeah. I hung out with a friend and drank some bit, which was actually pretty fun. I think I can actually say that I understand why some people drink. It actually is nice to just go out to parties to drink and socialize. For one, drinking loosens ya up a bit (which may or may not be a good thing), and hey, who doesn't want to make new friends, right? I mean, I sure want to make friends. Which is why I found today such a fairly good day. I love making new friends. I got to meet people and everything. I mean, I think I'm a bit weird when I drink, but it's kind of just... nice. Today was a bit worrisome because of the whole "rage" with State Patty's Day and cops being e'erwhere, but it was a'ight.
Uhhh,.... I'm not really sure how to relay this. Anyways, I guess it started a couple days ago, when I went with my friend to prepare for today (this day - State Patty's Day, which she says is actually the whole weekend). And then she got some alcohol, and we tested it out. That day, I ended up just being "tipsy," which I found to be a nice feeling. Just all, loose-y goose-y. (Bring it around town). Then after that, Friday came around. I watched the Vagina Monologues with one of my other friends after eating at Red Lobster with the same friend that I tested the alcohol with. Then, today, we just drank some, "pre-gaming" for the day, and then getting ready to head to a party/parties. We had/tried some things like Buttery Nipples, Dirty Girl Scouts, and Caramel Apple shots. Then, we had "Cherry Rum & Coke" with Maraschino cherries to go, but it was really just Cherry Rum and Cherry Pepsi, mixed with some vodka because there wasn't the right amount of cherry rum. Then, we headed out to the downtown area. On the way, one of the performers in the Vagina Monologues sat next to me, so I started talking to her a bit. My friend placed my hand on her leg for a bit because I wasn't paying much attention, then she placed my hand on her boob for a bit, which surprised me... because I wasn't paying much attention... Then, we headed to one of my friend's friend's house/apartment, who ended up not being there. When we got to that apartment though, eventually some cops came by, which scared me a bit because my friend had the cherry rum and coke, which she had in the hallway because she was talking to her friend, and I was told to try and get it... but there was the police. Man, glad they just walked by. Whew. Anyways, after that, we headed over to where that friend went, and chilled there for a bit. Then we eventually took one of the other friends home, and chilled there for a bit. This friend had their roommates home, which was a surprise to them, but it was all fun in the end. Some other people ended up coming over and my friend and I performed for them (she hula-hooped and juggled a bit, and I just juggled) and they found it amazing, which was cool. But yeah, these people were pretty cool. Probably the highlight of the night. Then, one of my friend's other friend(s) came to pick us up and bring us over to their apartment. This friend had their one roommate home, who was pretty cool in the end, although they made it out to seem like they were pretty mean. We played Mancala and talked and stuff. Not sure what to think in the end though, besides that it was a pretty fun night/day, I guess. Hope something like this could happen again because I thought those people were really cool.
So, now, I'm sober and writing this. Kind of sad because I'm bored and there's not much to do, not that I want to be anywhere inebriated anymore. It's the end of this weekend (even though it's the start of Sunday). And Spring break is next week. So, we'll see what's up with what.
Also, to mention, I also tried some "Vlad," Jack Daniel's, Captain Morgan, and Everclear. Not the best ideas or choices, but it was a try for a try. Note to self: Never try Vlad or Everclear again. They tasted terrible.
And also to mention, I feel like it's a breakthrough with life, but I hope I do not become anywhere near alcoholic. I know my limits. I drank water when I knew I felt like I was about to throw up. Glad I did not throw up. I did not black out and I remember everything.
So yeah. Until next time. Let's hope I make some good friends. We'll see.
Uhhh,.... I'm not really sure how to relay this. Anyways, I guess it started a couple days ago, when I went with my friend to prepare for today (this day - State Patty's Day, which she says is actually the whole weekend). And then she got some alcohol, and we tested it out. That day, I ended up just being "tipsy," which I found to be a nice feeling. Just all, loose-y goose-y. (Bring it around town). Then after that, Friday came around. I watched the Vagina Monologues with one of my other friends after eating at Red Lobster with the same friend that I tested the alcohol with. Then, today, we just drank some, "pre-gaming" for the day, and then getting ready to head to a party/parties. We had/tried some things like Buttery Nipples, Dirty Girl Scouts, and Caramel Apple shots. Then, we had "Cherry Rum & Coke" with Maraschino cherries to go, but it was really just Cherry Rum and Cherry Pepsi, mixed with some vodka because there wasn't the right amount of cherry rum. Then, we headed out to the downtown area. On the way, one of the performers in the Vagina Monologues sat next to me, so I started talking to her a bit. My friend placed my hand on her leg for a bit because I wasn't paying much attention, then she placed my hand on her boob for a bit, which surprised me... because I wasn't paying much attention... Then, we headed to one of my friend's friend's house/apartment, who ended up not being there. When we got to that apartment though, eventually some cops came by, which scared me a bit because my friend had the cherry rum and coke, which she had in the hallway because she was talking to her friend, and I was told to try and get it... but there was the police. Man, glad they just walked by. Whew. Anyways, after that, we headed over to where that friend went, and chilled there for a bit. Then we eventually took one of the other friends home, and chilled there for a bit. This friend had their roommates home, which was a surprise to them, but it was all fun in the end. Some other people ended up coming over and my friend and I performed for them (she hula-hooped and juggled a bit, and I just juggled) and they found it amazing, which was cool. But yeah, these people were pretty cool. Probably the highlight of the night. Then, one of my friend's other friend(s) came to pick us up and bring us over to their apartment. This friend had their one roommate home, who was pretty cool in the end, although they made it out to seem like they were pretty mean. We played Mancala and talked and stuff. Not sure what to think in the end though, besides that it was a pretty fun night/day, I guess. Hope something like this could happen again because I thought those people were really cool.
So, now, I'm sober and writing this. Kind of sad because I'm bored and there's not much to do, not that I want to be anywhere inebriated anymore. It's the end of this weekend (even though it's the start of Sunday). And Spring break is next week. So, we'll see what's up with what.
Also, to mention, I also tried some "Vlad," Jack Daniel's, Captain Morgan, and Everclear. Not the best ideas or choices, but it was a try for a try. Note to self: Never try Vlad or Everclear again. They tasted terrible.
And also to mention, I feel like it's a breakthrough with life, but I hope I do not become anywhere near alcoholic. I know my limits. I drank water when I knew I felt like I was about to throw up. Glad I did not throw up. I did not black out and I remember everything.
So yeah. Until next time. Let's hope I make some good friends. We'll see.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Mopey Mondays
...But wait, it's Tuesday. Wellp, that too.
Monday was a bit sad because my day started out with me seeing a dead squirrel, which made me sad. My first class was sort of cancelled because the professor had low blood pressure and was told to rest for a day or two, so I didn't have to wake up as early, but I had an optometrist appointment. Whilst on the way to the bus stop and waiting at the bus stop, I came across a squirrel that was dead in the middle of the road. In all honesty, I wanted to move it, seeing as it hadn't been crushed to the ground at this point, but I was hesitant since I hadn't any gloves or anything to pick it up with (maybe not that it should matter). So, I left it there... By the end of the day, it had been smothered to the ground. So, no one had done anything, but watch it get repetitively ran over. And half the time, I'm just thinking that I'm weird for just wanting to stare at it. When I first saw it, when I last saw it, I just wanted to stare at it. Up close too. Just to stare at it. Maybe for my condolences, but I don't know.
Another reason why Monday was a bit disappointing was that one of my classes was deliberating. Or at least practicing deliberating. And my view on that is that successful deliberation is only ideal. I don't think I believe that deliberation can ever really be successful. We can only try and in most times, it's not actual deliberation because in the end, people will either just agree or something. In most cases, there are going to be compromises, or things of that sort. No one will always get what they want fully and completely. Also, I know that my views compared to my peers are usually "out there," so, what should I say? They might not even have to do with the topic at hand. Like, we're talking about (more or less) eco-friendly options and whether there should be drastic actions taken - by government and businesses. And I'm here thinking: Well, we're so used to living in such a fast-pace that maybe things such as taxes and rations would help us live a slower-pace - like, live in the moment. And is America a melting pot or mosaic? How does that affect our inability to make decisions? Why can't we come up with decisions? If it'll benefit everyone, why are we, in the end, so selfish? Things like that. So, I'm not really up for deliberating.
Also, Also, Also. The kid in my psych class. C'mon! I just want to be friends. It really seems like he's avoiding me. He gets to class like right when it starts and leaves right when it ends. HOW ARE WE GOING TO BE FRIENDS IF YOU KEEP RUNNING AWAY?
Well, yesterday, I got to juggle, which was nice. But some of my friends didn't show up. (You know who you are!). And then, some people were mean! But whatever! I just felt weird about it. I mean, there was a new person who came by and she seemed like a nice person. And then the lot of them went out for dinner, but I passed because I had another club afterwards, and also, I don't think I was particularly in the mood to become more sad. I wasn't in the mood to do much really. But, I had the itching feeling that if I went to dinner, I would inevitably turn out ultimately depressed about the time (that's a bit of an exaggeration).
Anyways, after juggling club, I went to my other club, the Harry Potter club at my school. And I mean, I got to meet some people, but I didn't participate in the games they played... Because I wasn't in the mood to do much still. It was an okay time...
And I guess I should be happier about today because I'm going to be hanging out with one of my friends, but I don't know. I woke up to it snowing and that doesn't really make my day because the timing's inconvenient. And it's not the same as a pretty snow, but more of a sorrowful snow, at least to me. It's putting a bit of a damper on my day. And then, one of the only classes I have today (I have one class and a lab), my friend didn't show up! I planned to talk to him and stuff! Instead, this one girl sat next to me and said hi to me. Not that that's a bad thing, but she got my hopes up because I thought she was my friend. And so, I was there, hoping she wouldn't ask me for help with the work we had to do, because in most cases, it seems that people just look for me to help, or more rather just look at my work. Thanks for trying at doing work on your own guys. (Note: The friend in this class is not the same friend that I'm going to be hanging out with later today).
Anyways, one of the only things that's going to get me through the day is this song: The Offspring's You're Gonna Go Far, Kid. And maybe also if I get my package (books!) and make friends with the guy at the desk where I could pick up my package. And maybe if things just turn out well... I don't know. Let's hope for a good day. Maybe hopefully, a good week. Please!
Monday was a bit sad because my day started out with me seeing a dead squirrel, which made me sad. My first class was sort of cancelled because the professor had low blood pressure and was told to rest for a day or two, so I didn't have to wake up as early, but I had an optometrist appointment. Whilst on the way to the bus stop and waiting at the bus stop, I came across a squirrel that was dead in the middle of the road. In all honesty, I wanted to move it, seeing as it hadn't been crushed to the ground at this point, but I was hesitant since I hadn't any gloves or anything to pick it up with (maybe not that it should matter). So, I left it there... By the end of the day, it had been smothered to the ground. So, no one had done anything, but watch it get repetitively ran over. And half the time, I'm just thinking that I'm weird for just wanting to stare at it. When I first saw it, when I last saw it, I just wanted to stare at it. Up close too. Just to stare at it. Maybe for my condolences, but I don't know.
Another reason why Monday was a bit disappointing was that one of my classes was deliberating. Or at least practicing deliberating. And my view on that is that successful deliberation is only ideal. I don't think I believe that deliberation can ever really be successful. We can only try and in most times, it's not actual deliberation because in the end, people will either just agree or something. In most cases, there are going to be compromises, or things of that sort. No one will always get what they want fully and completely. Also, I know that my views compared to my peers are usually "out there," so, what should I say? They might not even have to do with the topic at hand. Like, we're talking about (more or less) eco-friendly options and whether there should be drastic actions taken - by government and businesses. And I'm here thinking: Well, we're so used to living in such a fast-pace that maybe things such as taxes and rations would help us live a slower-pace - like, live in the moment. And is America a melting pot or mosaic? How does that affect our inability to make decisions? Why can't we come up with decisions? If it'll benefit everyone, why are we, in the end, so selfish? Things like that. So, I'm not really up for deliberating.
Also, Also, Also. The kid in my psych class. C'mon! I just want to be friends. It really seems like he's avoiding me. He gets to class like right when it starts and leaves right when it ends. HOW ARE WE GOING TO BE FRIENDS IF YOU KEEP RUNNING AWAY?
Well, yesterday, I got to juggle, which was nice. But some of my friends didn't show up. (You know who you are!). And then, some people were mean! But whatever! I just felt weird about it. I mean, there was a new person who came by and she seemed like a nice person. And then the lot of them went out for dinner, but I passed because I had another club afterwards, and also, I don't think I was particularly in the mood to become more sad. I wasn't in the mood to do much really. But, I had the itching feeling that if I went to dinner, I would inevitably turn out ultimately depressed about the time (that's a bit of an exaggeration).
Anyways, after juggling club, I went to my other club, the Harry Potter club at my school. And I mean, I got to meet some people, but I didn't participate in the games they played... Because I wasn't in the mood to do much still. It was an okay time...
And I guess I should be happier about today because I'm going to be hanging out with one of my friends, but I don't know. I woke up to it snowing and that doesn't really make my day because the timing's inconvenient. And it's not the same as a pretty snow, but more of a sorrowful snow, at least to me. It's putting a bit of a damper on my day. And then, one of the only classes I have today (I have one class and a lab), my friend didn't show up! I planned to talk to him and stuff! Instead, this one girl sat next to me and said hi to me. Not that that's a bad thing, but she got my hopes up because I thought she was my friend. And so, I was there, hoping she wouldn't ask me for help with the work we had to do, because in most cases, it seems that people just look for me to help, or more rather just look at my work. Thanks for trying at doing work on your own guys. (Note: The friend in this class is not the same friend that I'm going to be hanging out with later today).
Anyways, one of the only things that's going to get me through the day is this song: The Offspring's You're Gonna Go Far, Kid. And maybe also if I get my package (books!) and make friends with the guy at the desk where I could pick up my package. And maybe if things just turn out well... I don't know. Let's hope for a good day. Maybe hopefully, a good week. Please!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Simple Stuff
Nothing major to talk about right now, except that I've found some new and good music that I just love! I'm really digging this song (Even though it's a bit old), but hey, it's good. It's just adorable: Landon Pigg's Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop. It makes me wish I were in love. D'aw. But, it's okay. Hopefully, that'll come in time. (And I mean that in a non-depressing way, because it's a cute song). I've also found a lot of other songs (Thanks Pandora!) that I like, and got to keep track of because of my account and the "likes" page. Awesome!
Something else that came up is that I think my body hates me. I mean, I'm getting better and I'm hardly considered sick now (Just the occasional cough, but trust me, I'm not sick anymore). But, I can't lick my hands anymore! (And I know that sounds weird, but you would understand if you're one of those people who lick your fingers after eating something like finger food, right?). I'm that type of person, sometimes at least... But now, I can't even do that because there's something wrong with my hands! It's like they're poisoned! I guess it's just telling me that I should kick that habit... *sigh* I guess. Operant Conditioning, without anybody actually, purposely instigating the conditioning? Whatever body and poisons! (Don't worry, I don't literally mean poison. Not that I would know what it is. For all I know, it could be poison.).
Lately, I've been thinking that I've been a mess and I need to clean stuff up. Especially the stuff in my dorm. I really need to clean it up... But I'm also waiting for people to take presents! I don't want these things! They're lame! And I'm sorry for whoever gets these things! I just want to get rid of all this stuff.
That brings me to: Oh, right. I sort of accidentally, but not accidentally cut my hair. I get crazy with scissors. And my hair. I pick at it too much. And it's just been annoying me. So much for growing my hair out. Not that it's noticeable that I did much to it. But whatever.
What else.... Simple, simple stuff. Wellp, until next time I guess. Peace!
Something else that came up is that I think my body hates me. I mean, I'm getting better and I'm hardly considered sick now (Just the occasional cough, but trust me, I'm not sick anymore). But, I can't lick my hands anymore! (And I know that sounds weird, but you would understand if you're one of those people who lick your fingers after eating something like finger food, right?). I'm that type of person, sometimes at least... But now, I can't even do that because there's something wrong with my hands! It's like they're poisoned! I guess it's just telling me that I should kick that habit... *sigh* I guess. Operant Conditioning, without anybody actually, purposely instigating the conditioning? Whatever body and poisons! (Don't worry, I don't literally mean poison. Not that I would know what it is. For all I know, it could be poison.).
Lately, I've been thinking that I've been a mess and I need to clean stuff up. Especially the stuff in my dorm. I really need to clean it up... But I'm also waiting for people to take presents! I don't want these things! They're lame! And I'm sorry for whoever gets these things! I just want to get rid of all this stuff.
That brings me to: Oh, right. I sort of accidentally, but not accidentally cut my hair. I get crazy with scissors. And my hair. I pick at it too much. And it's just been annoying me. So much for growing my hair out. Not that it's noticeable that I did much to it. But whatever.
What else.... Simple, simple stuff. Wellp, until next time I guess. Peace!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Basically Bored
Sweet, sweet boredom. (Imagine that being said with a wry voice, sarcasm). I suppose that's what happens after a bad day, then a good day, with both of those days being weird days. Anyways, I started reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, which is nice. Maybe that's why I'm so bored. Not because of Harry Potter, but because I'm not under the influence of having finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I mean, it was fun while it lasted, but at the same time, I was a bit worried. At least I'm not delusional anymore, right? Or like, crazy. I think it was all in my head really though.
Anyways, yesterday/last night was a pretty great night. I was high on life, one might say. It was a lot of fun juggling wif mah peeps. And then I also got to see mah otha peeps - performing magicians. I got some pictures, fun times, and had a blast. I thought I was being super, overly obnoxious, but it was a good time, and I don't regret it. I think I made some good friends yesterday, which was nice. And I like being together with my friends.
I think the reason why I'm bored is because I don't have any close friends. Or something like that. I guess I tend to prevent myself from doing some things like actually going out and doing things... because that's the way my mind works. I just constantly over-think things and have a skewed perspective on things... like how people are busy and don't want to hang out with me or talk to me, but it's just me stopping myself from going out to ask people to hang out, which they might actually want to do. I guess I'm just a weird person. Not that it's a bad thing. But, it's just that some of the things I do (or don't do) are bad in the sense that it's not doing me any good. Which I get. I just am not sure if things can change like that.
Now that I think about it, I think I'm becoming fairly lazy, which definitely isn't good. I could blame the sickness, but is it really that? I'm sort of out of sorts because I haven't really planned things as of lately, it seems. I'm not sure what to do when, when what's due, or anything. I feel like I need to create another list of things to do. Homework I have. Things. Things need to get done. Next weekend, there's State Patty's day. Not really sure what's going to happen. The weekend after that, or something, is Spring Break, and I have no idea what's going to happen. I have two friends that seem to be willing to take me in, but one is the one that I stayed with over Winter Break. I'm a bit hesitant to stay with her because I don't want to rely too much on her, and I also don't want things to get weird. And by that, I mean, that I don't want to get sick of her, like I usually do (in general), because I'm a horrible person. The other friend lives about an hour or a couple hours away from the school/town, so I'm a bit hesitant on that, since there might be the hassle of just moving things places (like luggage).
So, I don't know what to do now. Just bored. Thinking of things to do. Passing the time by. In want of talking to people that I enjoy talking to people. In want of making new friends, and hoping things go well. Stuff. Things. Thinking. Humanity.
Anyways, yesterday/last night was a pretty great night. I was high on life, one might say. It was a lot of fun juggling wif mah peeps. And then I also got to see mah otha peeps - performing magicians. I got some pictures, fun times, and had a blast. I thought I was being super, overly obnoxious, but it was a good time, and I don't regret it. I think I made some good friends yesterday, which was nice. And I like being together with my friends.
I think the reason why I'm bored is because I don't have any close friends. Or something like that. I guess I tend to prevent myself from doing some things like actually going out and doing things... because that's the way my mind works. I just constantly over-think things and have a skewed perspective on things... like how people are busy and don't want to hang out with me or talk to me, but it's just me stopping myself from going out to ask people to hang out, which they might actually want to do. I guess I'm just a weird person. Not that it's a bad thing. But, it's just that some of the things I do (or don't do) are bad in the sense that it's not doing me any good. Which I get. I just am not sure if things can change like that.
Now that I think about it, I think I'm becoming fairly lazy, which definitely isn't good. I could blame the sickness, but is it really that? I'm sort of out of sorts because I haven't really planned things as of lately, it seems. I'm not sure what to do when, when what's due, or anything. I feel like I need to create another list of things to do. Homework I have. Things. Things need to get done. Next weekend, there's State Patty's day. Not really sure what's going to happen. The weekend after that, or something, is Spring Break, and I have no idea what's going to happen. I have two friends that seem to be willing to take me in, but one is the one that I stayed with over Winter Break. I'm a bit hesitant to stay with her because I don't want to rely too much on her, and I also don't want things to get weird. And by that, I mean, that I don't want to get sick of her, like I usually do (in general), because I'm a horrible person. The other friend lives about an hour or a couple hours away from the school/town, so I'm a bit hesitant on that, since there might be the hassle of just moving things places (like luggage).
So, I don't know what to do now. Just bored. Thinking of things to do. Passing the time by. In want of talking to people that I enjoy talking to people. In want of making new friends, and hoping things go well. Stuff. Things. Thinking. Humanity.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Apathetic-Alacrity
So, I'm not sure how I'm feeling right now. I had just finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower the other day, and my mind is now floating off. I also watched the movie version, and thought the book was a lot more detailed, as well as my imagination on the book, although it's probably skewed like it is most of the times.
Things are a daze. I'm not sure if I'm apathetic right now, or just lost. Last night was fairly terrible. Truth be told, I texted my ex-boyfriend, which was a big mistake. And it wasn't because it was V-Day that I texted him. I'm not really sure why it happened. I shouldn't have done that though. Maybe I was tired. Maybe I was just floating... But I shouldn't have done it. It made it difficult to breathe and my heart pound. Not in a good way or in a "I wish I were still with him way." In all honesty, I hate the guy. He's a real jerk. I think the reason why my heart was pounding was because after I sent that first text, I definitely regretted it and was afraid. I was afraid that the bullying would continue. My past would continue to haunt me into the present. People will find me and I will carry this weight with me always. But I have to be strong now. I have to live in the now and forget the whole conversation of last night.
I think I have to shake off The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I don't want to blame the book or movie or anything, but that's really when I started acting weird yesterday. I'm too consumed in my mind. It's kind of devouring me right now. I can only try to act normal right now and it's scaring me. I shouldn't be sad. I shouldn't be this devastated right now, but I just might be.
I need to be happy again. I have people who I can call friends now and people who I like. I have the hope of making new friends and being a better person. I have hopes of great things happening.
But, maybe I need this sort of thing right now. This floating. I'm not sure how it feels. I know it's bad for me, but I feel like it's just something that happens. I don't know....
I don't want to scare anyone really. I hope things get better.
Things are a daze. I'm not sure if I'm apathetic right now, or just lost. Last night was fairly terrible. Truth be told, I texted my ex-boyfriend, which was a big mistake. And it wasn't because it was V-Day that I texted him. I'm not really sure why it happened. I shouldn't have done that though. Maybe I was tired. Maybe I was just floating... But I shouldn't have done it. It made it difficult to breathe and my heart pound. Not in a good way or in a "I wish I were still with him way." In all honesty, I hate the guy. He's a real jerk. I think the reason why my heart was pounding was because after I sent that first text, I definitely regretted it and was afraid. I was afraid that the bullying would continue. My past would continue to haunt me into the present. People will find me and I will carry this weight with me always. But I have to be strong now. I have to live in the now and forget the whole conversation of last night.
I think I have to shake off The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I don't want to blame the book or movie or anything, but that's really when I started acting weird yesterday. I'm too consumed in my mind. It's kind of devouring me right now. I can only try to act normal right now and it's scaring me. I shouldn't be sad. I shouldn't be this devastated right now, but I just might be.
I need to be happy again. I have people who I can call friends now and people who I like. I have the hope of making new friends and being a better person. I have hopes of great things happening.
But, maybe I need this sort of thing right now. This floating. I'm not sure how it feels. I know it's bad for me, but I feel like it's just something that happens. I don't know....
I don't want to scare anyone really. I hope things get better.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Happy Happenings?..!
Anyways, I'm for some reason extremely happy at this moment. I think it's because I got to read more of The Perks of Being a Wallflower and am almost done with it now. I read it during my psych post-exam review because it wasn't that interesting and so many people showed up. (if you didn't catch that, it was sarcasm). Anyways, upon leaving the review, I was preparing to head back to my dorm to eat dinner, when my friend that came to the review session was like: "Oh my god." (repetitively I might add). And I'm just like: "What?" (all while looking out the glass doors, not realizing until about five seconds from the doors that it was snowing). The snow was just beautiful. And I really mean that. I wish everyone was able to see the beauty in it. The tufts of snow falling is an amazing sight to take in really. Especially if you're not in any hurry. I wish I could just sit and watch the snow fall for hours. I really wish it were possible to show my family, but it doesn't show in pictures I take.
Anyways, good news besides that beautiful thing. I am getting better and not contagious! That makes me extremely happy because I'd be able to juggle at the event this weekend.
I'm pretty sure no one really knows how excited I am right now. Lunch was also delightful because I had a fish sandwich with lettuce and mayo and ketchup and that was good and I'm glad I got it (I was debating it at the time). I also had the French Vanilla Cappucino with half & half which was delicious also. And then for dinner just now, I had a panini, which was good, and black coffee with a bunch of sugar (I believe it was about eight packets of sugar/Splenda - not saying they're the same thing, but it was some mix of the two - and it might have been ten, or eight... don't remember). So maybe I'm just happy because I'm hyper. But not really hyper. This is a good feeling though. Maybe I don't need creamer in my coffee, just a lot of sugar. Sugar is good. I also had a chocolate chip cookie, which I hadn't had in a while with the coffee.
Today, I also realized that deliberation is hard. That's the truth. I feel like it is almost impossible to have a completely successful deliberation. In my rhetoric class, we tried to deliberate in small groups of six people and my group was just a bundle of joy. (Not really.. Not that they weren't joyful at all... but you'll see.. or read on... (unless you decide to stop there, then I guess not)). The topic was about college, and whether higher education and the government should help people have an equal opportunity in getting a degree - without an enormous debt (or something along those lines). That's such a sensitive topic though. I mean, sure (mostly) everyone will agree that tuition should be lower and government should help. But, really, what's there to say about this. It's hard to change the way society thinks and acts, which is the main root of the problem. Don't get me wrong, not talking about it at all is bad, but we're just talking about it. What is going to change? Nothing. Really. Nothing. I'm sure everyone made/makes a viable point/s about the topic, but what is happening to actually change education policies or the whole education system in general? And in this discussion, I wasn't really contributing because: 1) the rest of my group is fairly the 'outgoing,' 'extroverted' type to just speak their minds, whereas I'm just there waddling in my own thoughts, 2) I wasn't particularly found of how the discussion was being "moderated," 3) my thoughts on the subject are probably more absurdly profound in comparison to my peers, and 4) I couldn't really take the discussion seriously without taking it seriously, and no one wants to see that, especially in that environment. Anyways, it's a real touchy subject, and with my little, but lots of hope for humanity (as you can see, I'm fairly conflicted, or something), there's not much to say on it for now. Maybe some other time, for open ears.
ANYWAYS... I get to go to magic club today! And then juggling club tomorrow! I haven't juggled in forever, and I'm really excited. And people! And V-Day (which I'm not particularly excited for because there's nothing to look forward to). And and and stuff! Life! Life! Things!
So, I'm not really sure what to say now, but hopefully I'll have more to say on things at some other point in time sometime soon. Until next time! Adieu!
Anyways, good news besides that beautiful thing. I am getting better and not contagious! That makes me extremely happy because I'd be able to juggle at the event this weekend.
I'm pretty sure no one really knows how excited I am right now. Lunch was also delightful because I had a fish sandwich with lettuce and mayo and ketchup and that was good and I'm glad I got it (I was debating it at the time). I also had the French Vanilla Cappucino with half & half which was delicious also. And then for dinner just now, I had a panini, which was good, and black coffee with a bunch of sugar (I believe it was about eight packets of sugar/Splenda - not saying they're the same thing, but it was some mix of the two - and it might have been ten, or eight... don't remember). So maybe I'm just happy because I'm hyper. But not really hyper. This is a good feeling though. Maybe I don't need creamer in my coffee, just a lot of sugar. Sugar is good. I also had a chocolate chip cookie, which I hadn't had in a while with the coffee.
Today, I also realized that deliberation is hard. That's the truth. I feel like it is almost impossible to have a completely successful deliberation. In my rhetoric class, we tried to deliberate in small groups of six people and my group was just a bundle of joy. (Not really.. Not that they weren't joyful at all... but you'll see.. or read on... (unless you decide to stop there, then I guess not)). The topic was about college, and whether higher education and the government should help people have an equal opportunity in getting a degree - without an enormous debt (or something along those lines). That's such a sensitive topic though. I mean, sure (mostly) everyone will agree that tuition should be lower and government should help. But, really, what's there to say about this. It's hard to change the way society thinks and acts, which is the main root of the problem. Don't get me wrong, not talking about it at all is bad, but we're just talking about it. What is going to change? Nothing. Really. Nothing. I'm sure everyone made/makes a viable point/s about the topic, but what is happening to actually change education policies or the whole education system in general? And in this discussion, I wasn't really contributing because: 1) the rest of my group is fairly the 'outgoing,' 'extroverted' type to just speak their minds, whereas I'm just there waddling in my own thoughts, 2) I wasn't particularly found of how the discussion was being "moderated," 3) my thoughts on the subject are probably more absurdly profound in comparison to my peers, and 4) I couldn't really take the discussion seriously without taking it seriously, and no one wants to see that, especially in that environment. Anyways, it's a real touchy subject, and with my little, but lots of hope for humanity (as you can see, I'm fairly conflicted, or something), there's not much to say on it for now. Maybe some other time, for open ears.
ANYWAYS... I get to go to magic club today! And then juggling club tomorrow! I haven't juggled in forever, and I'm really excited. And people! And V-Day (which I'm not particularly excited for because there's nothing to look forward to). And and and stuff! Life! Life! Things!
So, I'm not really sure what to say now, but hopefully I'll have more to say on things at some other point in time sometime soon. Until next time! Adieu!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Pesky Pasta
So, I was actually sitting here just thinking of what I was going to say and how I was going to say it, while picking at my hair (it's a real bad habit I got), and now I'm in need of using the restroom. Why didn't I just go? Well, there's the punishment of not writing this sooner and instead acting and re-enacting how this was going to go. So, let's see if I can re-enact all that onto here.
So, the title, "Pesky Pasta." I was originally going to go with "Pesty Pasta," but learned that "pesty" isn't a word. Because then, it would've gone something like this: Don't you mean Pesto Pasta? And no, I don't, but that leads to something. I was going to talk about Pesto. Alfredo. Marinara. Cheese. What do all of those have in common? You. You over there! You've got the idea! (Note: I'm actually talking to that fine sir (or lal' lady - yes, lal' - don't question it.) behind you.). They're sauces! And what does that have to do with anything? Well, in reality, I'm not really talking about pasta or sauces, but this introduces me to go on to say that I'm thinking that I've been acting saucy lately. And then this whole scene would continue and replay for a couple more times.
Saucy. Why? Well, first off, I've been sick, so that might have to do with the bit of irritance (irritance being something like irritable but a different form) that has surrounded me lately. But, that's not to say that I haven't been happy or anything. I've just been rather bitter as of late. I've noticed it especially since I started watching American Horror Story. Oh? Yes. And that leads me to say - bathroom break actually (I can't quite handle my bladder, so pardon me, plus I think I might have a bloody nose rather soon - so in reality, a couple minutes passed and it was found that I did not have a bloody nose - and now you may cheer or whatever floats your boat in joy of my not having a bloody nose... at this point in time) - where was I? That leads me to say... Anyways... I'll just tell it another way. I started watching American Horror Story (which is actually quite a lovely show that I quite enjoy), and I started feeling a lot of maybe pent up anger, which I get isn't good, but it probably explains the whole passive-aggressive-sauciness. Why am I angry? Well, I would explain, but God forbid (without using His name in vain) I go on a rant, so maybe we'll save it for some other time (especially since I'm not completely sure if it's a singular reason).
Is my confusion obvious? Because I feel like there's no clarity or organization. Being sick is really a bummer. I do not for the life of me have things under control. This event at my school is happening soon and it's a really big thing that I want to be a part of, but I can't be sick! I just can't! Just the other night, I had a hard time sleeping (even after taking Nyquil) because I was coughing it out all over the bed. I was wondering how long it'd take me to get to sleep. How bothersome, right? Have I seen a doctor? That's the question everyone's been asking, but don't worry. I set up an appointment with the doc. or whoever for tomorrow! I hope things get sorted and I get better. Because it's really been a pain. Illness + Eye Infection + Bloody Noses = ??? That's me! Bad luck all around. But happy-go-lucky... I suppose. Things get better. Things get worse. Karma? It's a ....
Anywho... Valentine's Day is coming up this Thursday! I'm almost 100% certain that my new year's "resolution" won't come true. I don't think any guy would give me flowers or chocolates really. Why would they? Who would "they" be? I don't think anyone's really interested in me, nor do I really have friends? So, go figure. But, I shall let y'all know what the outcomes are. -fingers crossed-
So, I'm hoping to make some friends soon. I plan to apologize to that one kid tomorrow, ideally. And hope that we can be friends. I think it's possible. He seems like a lonely guy too. We can be loners together. And then also, I think me and the mail/commons desk guy can be friends. I'm making him a bracelet too. I think he knows me by now. He gave me my package today without needing my ID card, which was cool. :)
What else did I want to put here? Wellp, I know that I wanted to take about how things happen when they do for a reason. But not really. But maybe. Like, I think it was good timing for me to watch American Horror Story because if I had watched it any sooner, I probably would have been a scaredy-cat and wouldn't have wanted to watch it - therefore, not liking it as much as I do now. Maybe I was supposed to get sick now. Maybe, just maybe, things happen as they do with good reason. But then again, these things are looked in retrospect, which is also obscured. Things just happen.
Life happens.
So, the title, "Pesky Pasta." I was originally going to go with "Pesty Pasta," but learned that "pesty" isn't a word. Because then, it would've gone something like this: Don't you mean Pesto Pasta? And no, I don't, but that leads to something. I was going to talk about Pesto. Alfredo. Marinara. Cheese. What do all of those have in common? You. You over there! You've got the idea! (Note: I'm actually talking to that fine sir (or lal' lady - yes, lal' - don't question it.) behind you.). They're sauces! And what does that have to do with anything? Well, in reality, I'm not really talking about pasta or sauces, but this introduces me to go on to say that I'm thinking that I've been acting saucy lately. And then this whole scene would continue and replay for a couple more times.
Saucy. Why? Well, first off, I've been sick, so that might have to do with the bit of irritance (irritance being something like irritable but a different form) that has surrounded me lately. But, that's not to say that I haven't been happy or anything. I've just been rather bitter as of late. I've noticed it especially since I started watching American Horror Story. Oh? Yes. And that leads me to say - bathroom break actually (I can't quite handle my bladder, so pardon me, plus I think I might have a bloody nose rather soon - so in reality, a couple minutes passed and it was found that I did not have a bloody nose - and now you may cheer or whatever floats your boat in joy of my not having a bloody nose... at this point in time) - where was I? That leads me to say... Anyways... I'll just tell it another way. I started watching American Horror Story (which is actually quite a lovely show that I quite enjoy), and I started feeling a lot of maybe pent up anger, which I get isn't good, but it probably explains the whole passive-aggressive-sauciness. Why am I angry? Well, I would explain, but God forbid (without using His name in vain) I go on a rant, so maybe we'll save it for some other time (especially since I'm not completely sure if it's a singular reason).
Is my confusion obvious? Because I feel like there's no clarity or organization. Being sick is really a bummer. I do not for the life of me have things under control. This event at my school is happening soon and it's a really big thing that I want to be a part of, but I can't be sick! I just can't! Just the other night, I had a hard time sleeping (even after taking Nyquil) because I was coughing it out all over the bed. I was wondering how long it'd take me to get to sleep. How bothersome, right? Have I seen a doctor? That's the question everyone's been asking, but don't worry. I set up an appointment with the doc. or whoever for tomorrow! I hope things get sorted and I get better. Because it's really been a pain. Illness + Eye Infection + Bloody Noses = ??? That's me! Bad luck all around. But happy-go-lucky... I suppose. Things get better. Things get worse. Karma? It's a ....
Anywho... Valentine's Day is coming up this Thursday! I'm almost 100% certain that my new year's "resolution" won't come true. I don't think any guy would give me flowers or chocolates really. Why would they? Who would "they" be? I don't think anyone's really interested in me, nor do I really have friends? So, go figure. But, I shall let y'all know what the outcomes are. -fingers crossed-
So, I'm hoping to make some friends soon. I plan to apologize to that one kid tomorrow, ideally. And hope that we can be friends. I think it's possible. He seems like a lonely guy too. We can be loners together. And then also, I think me and the mail/commons desk guy can be friends. I'm making him a bracelet too. I think he knows me by now. He gave me my package today without needing my ID card, which was cool. :)
What else did I want to put here? Wellp, I know that I wanted to take about how things happen when they do for a reason. But not really. But maybe. Like, I think it was good timing for me to watch American Horror Story because if I had watched it any sooner, I probably would have been a scaredy-cat and wouldn't have wanted to watch it - therefore, not liking it as much as I do now. Maybe I was supposed to get sick now. Maybe, just maybe, things happen as they do with good reason. But then again, these things are looked in retrospect, which is also obscured. Things just happen.
Life happens.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Whimsical Wallowings
So, I've found these past couple days of being sick with the flu quite interesting. Today, especially. Which is why I write so soon (not to mention that I'm on a writing roll, kind of, and I just like writing to y'all). Anyways, this post is just more ranting, except just ideas mostly. Maybe thoughts. I can't really distinguish much right now, but hear me out... Or not.
Anyways, onward ho! (by the way, I'm not trying to call anybody out by that or anything). But yes, so something I was thinking about was telepathy. Wouldn't it be awesome to let people know anything? Like, what happens if someone's on Facebook, but not on Twitter? Or someone doesn't even have a Facebook or Twitter or smart phone or any of that stuff? How are they supposed to find out about an event you want to invite them too, but you also just want to make it publicly known to everyone with or without a social networking device/site/app/etc.? Things would be so much easier if we somehow linked with people that we interact with on a daily basis and somehow you could just hit them up telepathically. Like, oh hey, "guy with that one hat," or "girl with those cool shoes," "you seem cool, want to talk over some coffee and actually get to know each other?" That way, you don't even need to worry about some strange stalker/creeper person getting your personal info. like a phone number or facebook friend request. I mean, this isn't at all realistic, I know, but it'd be cool. (I mean, I'm sick, but I can still at least be somewhat reasonable still).
Something else I started thinking about was how I find that it's hard for me to associate (although associate is a really bad word to use because it doesn't exactly encompass what I want to say) with race, which I mean, is a good thing. But what I'm trying to say is that, I know I am who I am racially/ethnically, but I don't find myself as fitting in with any particular group. I don't fit in with the white/Caucasian/European group. I don't fit in with the black/African(-American) group. I don't fit in with the Hispanic/Latino group. I don't fit in with the Asian/Pacific Islander group. And this might sound a bit sad, but it's the truth. I don't fit in with the people who I view as a racial group. It just makes me uncomfortable to be grouped with the people I experience bumping into that fit into such categories. And I guess it's a bit more sad that I don't really identify with any particular group, but I'm fairly content with that because I understand that it is part of my process of finding myself and it's just who I am. I don't particularly clique with the artsy group (although they may very well be the one I would "clique" with the most). I definitely don't quite clique with the athletic or "popular"-esque group. I don't quite clique with the "nerd"/"geek"-culture group. I don't clique with the "music"/band group. I don't clique with the "druggies" or the "emos" or the "goths" or the "loners" (although I kind of am like a loner in my own way - wow, right). I'm actually a fairly friendly person. I hope I give off a friendly aura, but I just don't have my own niche. I don't think I ever have, not sure if I ever will, but we'll see. I'm just looking for people who accept me as me for now and hope that I find good, great, or even best friends along the way. Anyways, this is the gist (or maybe actually just a small part of a bigger picture) of whatever this is.
Now, the last thing I wanted to talk about for now, is the discussion I had with one of my friends about cars/drivers and walkers/pedestrians. Once you finally learn to drive and all that, you get both perspectives, but not everyone thinks about both sides. When you're strolling on the sidewalk until you finally have to cross the street, you bump into a totally rude driver. Like, what are they thinking, right? You have the right of way. And when you're all cool driving around getting places, you have to violently step on the brakes when some pedestrian decided to jay-walk across the street because who knows where they're going in such a rush (or not). But really, people need to learn some manners. There are bad drivers and bad pedestrians in all honesty. Some people drive like they're on a racetrack, some people just don't pay attention, or what-have-you. In my opinion, there are some common unspoken courtesies that not everyone seems to know (and there are also common courtesies that some people don't seem to know about life in general, but that's maybe for some other time). But say, you're an average pedestrian, walking to wherever you're walking, and there are a lot of people also going in your general direction. They're walking to. Average pedestrians. And there isn't a crosswalk sign (you know, those light-up crosswalk lights that have that red hand or green walking man) at an intersection. A line of cars form at the intersection because it's 4-way stop (or what-have-you really). And they're waiting for a while. There are gaps along the groups of walking pedestrians. If you see this, all y'all walking pedestrians should let at least one car go every now and then, y'know? If you look at it from their point-of-view, they're all just sitting there in their cars, waiting for your "right-of-way," which I mean, sure, we have the right of way when we're walking because we're pedestrians, but who says we get to be rude or inconsiderate. It probably literally takes about 10 seconds of our time to stand to let one car go every now and then. And this is assuming there isn't any traffic where it doesn't really matter if the car gets to go because.. there's traffic and it's not like they can go anywhere. But anyways, yes, we should let cars go every now and then instead of being all stuck-up and proud of having a right-of-way. It's not cool. (and this doesn't mean to be a pushover and not know how to cross the streets). Something for drivers to be wary of now. It's not cool to "floor it" when you're just being stupid. Okay? You don't need to "look cool" wearing down your tires to go from one stop sign to another. That's not going to save you 10 minutes to go somewhere. You're probably actually more likely to get a ticket or something. Or hit someone. It's really not cool. And when people are crossing the roads, don't make them nervous, geez. Like, stay at the stop sign or something. When you're creeping towards the crosswalk, it seems like you're anxious to get somewhere (and you might be), but being as close as you can get to the light before it turns or at the stop sign, it's not going to get you there faster by being a foot closer. Your car takes time to start up again, if you didn't notice.
Anyways, there's probably more to all of that, but that's just me exhausting my ill brain right now. So, thanks for listening/reading, and tune in next time! (On a writing roll! And boy, do I like writing...typing. I hope y'all enjoyed this segment). Adios!
Anyways, onward ho! (by the way, I'm not trying to call anybody out by that or anything). But yes, so something I was thinking about was telepathy. Wouldn't it be awesome to let people know anything? Like, what happens if someone's on Facebook, but not on Twitter? Or someone doesn't even have a Facebook or Twitter or smart phone or any of that stuff? How are they supposed to find out about an event you want to invite them too, but you also just want to make it publicly known to everyone with or without a social networking device/site/app/etc.? Things would be so much easier if we somehow linked with people that we interact with on a daily basis and somehow you could just hit them up telepathically. Like, oh hey, "guy with that one hat," or "girl with those cool shoes," "you seem cool, want to talk over some coffee and actually get to know each other?" That way, you don't even need to worry about some strange stalker/creeper person getting your personal info. like a phone number or facebook friend request. I mean, this isn't at all realistic, I know, but it'd be cool. (I mean, I'm sick, but I can still at least be somewhat reasonable still).
Something else I started thinking about was how I find that it's hard for me to associate (although associate is a really bad word to use because it doesn't exactly encompass what I want to say) with race, which I mean, is a good thing. But what I'm trying to say is that, I know I am who I am racially/ethnically, but I don't find myself as fitting in with any particular group. I don't fit in with the white/Caucasian/European group. I don't fit in with the black/African(-American) group. I don't fit in with the Hispanic/Latino group. I don't fit in with the Asian/Pacific Islander group. And this might sound a bit sad, but it's the truth. I don't fit in with the people who I view as a racial group. It just makes me uncomfortable to be grouped with the people I experience bumping into that fit into such categories. And I guess it's a bit more sad that I don't really identify with any particular group, but I'm fairly content with that because I understand that it is part of my process of finding myself and it's just who I am. I don't particularly clique with the artsy group (although they may very well be the one I would "clique" with the most). I definitely don't quite clique with the athletic or "popular"-esque group. I don't quite clique with the "nerd"/"geek"-culture group. I don't clique with the "music"/band group. I don't clique with the "druggies" or the "emos" or the "goths" or the "loners" (although I kind of am like a loner in my own way - wow, right). I'm actually a fairly friendly person. I hope I give off a friendly aura, but I just don't have my own niche. I don't think I ever have, not sure if I ever will, but we'll see. I'm just looking for people who accept me as me for now and hope that I find good, great, or even best friends along the way. Anyways, this is the gist (or maybe actually just a small part of a bigger picture) of whatever this is.
Now, the last thing I wanted to talk about for now, is the discussion I had with one of my friends about cars/drivers and walkers/pedestrians. Once you finally learn to drive and all that, you get both perspectives, but not everyone thinks about both sides. When you're strolling on the sidewalk until you finally have to cross the street, you bump into a totally rude driver. Like, what are they thinking, right? You have the right of way. And when you're all cool driving around getting places, you have to violently step on the brakes when some pedestrian decided to jay-walk across the street because who knows where they're going in such a rush (or not). But really, people need to learn some manners. There are bad drivers and bad pedestrians in all honesty. Some people drive like they're on a racetrack, some people just don't pay attention, or what-have-you. In my opinion, there are some common unspoken courtesies that not everyone seems to know (and there are also common courtesies that some people don't seem to know about life in general, but that's maybe for some other time). But say, you're an average pedestrian, walking to wherever you're walking, and there are a lot of people also going in your general direction. They're walking to. Average pedestrians. And there isn't a crosswalk sign (you know, those light-up crosswalk lights that have that red hand or green walking man) at an intersection. A line of cars form at the intersection because it's 4-way stop (or what-have-you really). And they're waiting for a while. There are gaps along the groups of walking pedestrians. If you see this, all y'all walking pedestrians should let at least one car go every now and then, y'know? If you look at it from their point-of-view, they're all just sitting there in their cars, waiting for your "right-of-way," which I mean, sure, we have the right of way when we're walking because we're pedestrians, but who says we get to be rude or inconsiderate. It probably literally takes about 10 seconds of our time to stand to let one car go every now and then. And this is assuming there isn't any traffic where it doesn't really matter if the car gets to go because.. there's traffic and it's not like they can go anywhere. But anyways, yes, we should let cars go every now and then instead of being all stuck-up and proud of having a right-of-way. It's not cool. (and this doesn't mean to be a pushover and not know how to cross the streets). Something for drivers to be wary of now. It's not cool to "floor it" when you're just being stupid. Okay? You don't need to "look cool" wearing down your tires to go from one stop sign to another. That's not going to save you 10 minutes to go somewhere. You're probably actually more likely to get a ticket or something. Or hit someone. It's really not cool. And when people are crossing the roads, don't make them nervous, geez. Like, stay at the stop sign or something. When you're creeping towards the crosswalk, it seems like you're anxious to get somewhere (and you might be), but being as close as you can get to the light before it turns or at the stop sign, it's not going to get you there faster by being a foot closer. Your car takes time to start up again, if you didn't notice.
Anyways, there's probably more to all of that, but that's just me exhausting my ill brain right now. So, thanks for listening/reading, and tune in next time! (On a writing roll! And boy, do I like writing...typing. I hope y'all enjoyed this segment). Adios!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Ill(icit Illusions)
So, I really just wanted to put two "i" words for the title because I'm literally ill (as in sick). This was really out of the blue, since I woke up with a sore throat just the other day. But, I still went to my classes as usual. It wasn't until halfway through my last class that I started feeling very, very chilly. Freezing, in fact. It was quite horrible. First, I was going to try and catch the kid whom I had insulted to apologize and give him a friendship bracelet as an offering/apology - in hopes that we could be friends, but that didn't turn out as expected. I became very nervous and just ill-feeling that I headed back to my dorm to nap it off. I was still feeling fairly weak and everything that I had to miss the magic club meeting, which I was very excited to go to. Even eating dinner was a bit of a pain. I felt like all my strength had escaped me, and I had to carry a full tray (not sure how "full" it was, but those dishes sure are heavy) from one end of the dining commons to the other. So yes, I am sick, even as I am writing this blog post. I am coughing it up and being all weak while typing all this out... But it's okay. I hope to get better soon. At least, I hope so. I might even take a nap because I plan to juggle soon as well as go to a benefit show. I really hope I can make it to these things. I slept in last night. Slept almost about 15 hours. I took the nap, went to have dinner, and slept in, drank water, went to the restroom when needed. What a vicious cycle that was. My schedule after dinner was pretty much: drink water, sleep, go to the restroom, drink water, sleep, go to the restroom. About every hour on the hour until maybe about 9ish. At least, that's about the last time I remember checking my phone. It was quite weird. My body's still sore, so I'm not trying to be too exertive (I guess I just made that word up, but you can infer what that means).
Anyways, what else has been up... Well, I've been really excited about wanting to study abroad in England. I really hope I can. I want to either do undergrad. studying there, or grad school. I'm kind of hoping for the former, just because it seems fun and enjoyable. For some reason, I'm really set on Cambridge or Oxford, which I found to be the top schools in England.... I hope I could get in... Also, I get that I could visit England at any time, but I really, really want to study there. I'm a bit worried about the whole degree transference and things like that, but I'm quite excited. I'm hoping that works out also. I'm planning to talk to some advisers soon about that whole deal. So we shall see.
Let's see what I can say about illusions just to get that out there. Well, I'm in magic club! And we do magic! Or maybe illusions. However you'd like to view that. It's quite fun and I'm learning quite a bit (well, slowly, but surely). I'm working my way there. I had been too focused on juggling that I need to set more time out for magic club. Oh! I'm hoping to go to the RIT Juggle-In with my club. It's during my birthday! And also, the magic club is having a show on my birthday! I'm super excited. I hope I get to do both. It'd really be the best birthday ever. My two favorite things pretty much. :) I'm excited for that. Truly.
What else... I scheduled for my summer courses the other day. By Monday, I'll be able to schedule my flight back home. I'm excited! My sister has been posting food pictures, which I'm really dying to eat. I love kimchi. (If you guessed they were kbbq pictures, you're right!). Also, apparently, my family hasn't really been cooking since I left. I kind of feel like things have died down after I left, but that might just be my conceited self (and I use the term "conceited" lightly and jokingly!). But yeah, I'm excited to see my family again. I'm actually not sure if I miss them, or miss the idea of them. I kind of feel like a robot in the senses where I know how I'm supposed to feel, though I'm not actually sure if I feel them. A lot of the things I say are just words after all. That's depressing, right?
Anyway, I've also started reading Perks of Being a Wallflower, and I also just bought the A Game of Thrones 4-book box set. 20% off. Awesome, right? In addition to those little nifty things, I'm going to be reading the Harry Potter books this year - making sure of it. Especially since, I'm pretty sure I'm the least knowledgeable in the club... Which makes me feel awkward. At least I watched the movies, eh?
What else... What else... Well, I'm not quite sure. Things happen. It's been a week. Maybe I'll check back soon (maybe when I get better? or if I don't...). But, until next time! Off to nap now. Ciao!
EDIT: I also forgot to mention that I went to a party this past weekend and it was quite delightful. I didn't mingle much, because I need to practice, but hey. It was a fun time. My friend sort of dragged me along, which was nice of him, and I'm glad he did. I saw some of my other friends there, and I got to meet some people. I hope it happens again soon. :)
Anyways, what else has been up... Well, I've been really excited about wanting to study abroad in England. I really hope I can. I want to either do undergrad. studying there, or grad school. I'm kind of hoping for the former, just because it seems fun and enjoyable. For some reason, I'm really set on Cambridge or Oxford, which I found to be the top schools in England.... I hope I could get in... Also, I get that I could visit England at any time, but I really, really want to study there. I'm a bit worried about the whole degree transference and things like that, but I'm quite excited. I'm hoping that works out also. I'm planning to talk to some advisers soon about that whole deal. So we shall see.
Let's see what I can say about illusions just to get that out there. Well, I'm in magic club! And we do magic! Or maybe illusions. However you'd like to view that. It's quite fun and I'm learning quite a bit (well, slowly, but surely). I'm working my way there. I had been too focused on juggling that I need to set more time out for magic club. Oh! I'm hoping to go to the RIT Juggle-In with my club. It's during my birthday! And also, the magic club is having a show on my birthday! I'm super excited. I hope I get to do both. It'd really be the best birthday ever. My two favorite things pretty much. :) I'm excited for that. Truly.
What else... I scheduled for my summer courses the other day. By Monday, I'll be able to schedule my flight back home. I'm excited! My sister has been posting food pictures, which I'm really dying to eat. I love kimchi. (If you guessed they were kbbq pictures, you're right!). Also, apparently, my family hasn't really been cooking since I left. I kind of feel like things have died down after I left, but that might just be my conceited self (and I use the term "conceited" lightly and jokingly!). But yeah, I'm excited to see my family again. I'm actually not sure if I miss them, or miss the idea of them. I kind of feel like a robot in the senses where I know how I'm supposed to feel, though I'm not actually sure if I feel them. A lot of the things I say are just words after all. That's depressing, right?
Anyway, I've also started reading Perks of Being a Wallflower, and I also just bought the A Game of Thrones 4-book box set. 20% off. Awesome, right? In addition to those little nifty things, I'm going to be reading the Harry Potter books this year - making sure of it. Especially since, I'm pretty sure I'm the least knowledgeable in the club... Which makes me feel awkward. At least I watched the movies, eh?
What else... What else... Well, I'm not quite sure. Things happen. It's been a week. Maybe I'll check back soon (maybe when I get better? or if I don't...). But, until next time! Off to nap now. Ciao!
EDIT: I also forgot to mention that I went to a party this past weekend and it was quite delightful. I didn't mingle much, because I need to practice, but hey. It was a fun time. My friend sort of dragged me along, which was nice of him, and I'm glad he did. I saw some of my other friends there, and I got to meet some people. I hope it happens again soon. :)
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