I reallly, really, really hate my hair. :( I pick at it so much. I should just get rid of it. I hate the feel of it now and everything. *sigh* But anyways...
So, I'm really weird, if you hadn't noticed. I consider myself "quirky," but I'm not really sure if that's the case. Maybe I'm just crazy in reality. Right now, I'm listening to 7 songs on repeat at the same time. And I'm enjoying it. It's really fun and it's maybe a good exercise to distinguish different sounds. So if you're trying to eavesdrop on conversations, maybe it's a good exercise. I'm not exactly sure why I'm doing that, but it might be because I'm trying to drown my thoughts with all the noise (wonderful noise though).
<3 My Girls by Animal Collective <3 Season Song by Blue States <3 Runaway by Yeah Yeah Yeahs <3 Darling Alistair by Little Comets <3 Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend <3 Lord Anthony by Belle & Sebastian <3 No More Pirates by Chris Garneau
So, I've been thinking and maybe I'm a polyamorous person for now. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing though. I mean, I'm sure it's bad in the eyes of society, but should I care about that? I've been on the fence of turning off my emotions. I do it, but at the same time, I don't. I'm a fairly ambiguous, ambivalent, apathetic, and vague person. But I don't know. I don't really know much. Although I say I want to be in a relationship, I'm not sure if I'm actually ready for one. Maybe all the people I'm trying to be with are just rebounds. But not in a bad way. I enjoy each of them, but I wouldn't want to have multiple "boyfriends." I suppose it's all FWB (Friends with Benefits). Is that a bad thing? I don't really care though. I mean, I care for them, but not in an extensive way that I'd wrought myself over. I would usually (and I guess I do go through the process of) debating things like whether or not it's "ethical," but I've started to think that all of that is pretty much bullshit. (Oh, and I've also going to begin to curse, if I may). Is it bad that I consider myself a bad person, but at the same time I don't? It's also like how I don't consider myself a slut/whore because I feel that at least I'm being myself. Like, I'm trying to be considerate of people, and it's not like the people I get together with have girlfriends (except this one guy is an exception because he has two girlfriends and apparently no one cares). And it's not like I act like a slut or whore. Like, I'm fairly conservative in how I dress, even if sometimes it could be considered "skimpy." That might sound contradicting, but it's hard to explain.
I suppose I have a lot on my mind, but I could never get everything fully out. I've also been thinking of tattoos that I want. Tomorrow's Quiche Sunday (name I gave to it because my dining hall serves quiche only on Sundays). I guess it's actually technically today. I didn't notice that it's already 5AM in the morning. Wow-ee. I might try to write my papers today (a 10-page lab report and a 6-8-page persuasive essay). They aren't due until next week, but it's better to get them out of the way, right? Also, I've been thinking a lot about the grades I (might) want to get. I think ideally I want to get the Dean's List thing, but should I really work myself up over that? I sort of think I'm only going to barely pass my Chem Lab, and then other classes are up in the air. I think it's definitely doable to get an A in my Stats class, but as for everything else, it's (hopefully) sort of in between grades like B and A- (although it'd be cool to just get A's in all my classes of course). I get to schedule my courses for the fall semester in about 2 weeks, which I'm excited for. I'm thinking of taking 3 courses over the summer, then for the fall, I'm planning to take 3 Psych classes, 2 Philosophy classes, and a language (Russian probably).
Anywaysss... I got distracted and I suppose that's it for now. Hope things turn out well~
No comments:
Post a Comment