Plateful of Mouth

Hwhaaat?
Anyway, so I've been wanting to and meaning to write in this here blog for a while now, since I've felt like I've had so much to say, but at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Don't get me wrong, I've fallen in love with writing (in this blog) and all, but I suppose it's just been hard to write anything substantial (and that might even be a wrong way to phrase it). But what it really boils down to is that I haven't been able to just spill myself onto paper (or rather, just in words in general). Part of it might be my inability to relay how and what I feel or think, but another part might just be my uncertainty of how and what I feel or think. Lately, I've been feeling pretty weird, trying to resolve the conflicts my mind and body have. I've also been having some pretty great moments, talking to friends, being in the moment. Kind of, at least. Most of the times, it's me feeling terrible and not being able to sleep, when all of a sudden, I do something hilarious (not on purpose, mind you), and that makes the day *slightly* better. And, it's the times like those that I cherish.
And I understand that most of what this post probably's going to consist of is a bunch of hooblah, but it's just that I feel so scatterbrained right now. As I'm trying to convey my brain, my thoughts, my essence, I'm getting lost. Even verbally speaking (which I love to do - talk), I find that I'm a loss for words, although I love to talk. I love having the chance to have conversations with people, my friends, my acquaintances. I find that it's easier to just spill my guts. To enjoy the time. To forget my worries and to open myself.
Hey. Actually, I'd like to share this TED Talk that I just watched with my friend because I find it amazing and inspiring and I wish I could be like her, Amanda Palmer:
http://www.ted.com/talks/amanda_palmer_the_art_of_asking.html
This Ted Talk was amazing because I wish I could be so brave to just ask for help. To be able to trust people. To be able to have that connection with people. It has inspired me to go out and try things. To inspire others. To welcome people with open arms. To be loving. To love. To see and be seen.
I thank this friend to have seen the video with me and appreciate, and feel that I cannot express in words how graced I feel to have come upon such a thing.
Now, I'm feeling like I'm getting a bit weird, but that's okay. I think I really need to just accept who I am and how I act, rather than be so self-critical towards myself. I am amused by myself and that is not a bad thing. I should realize the potential I have and use that potential to become something great. Something worthy. Something inspiring. And with that, I think I shall hit the hay and try to sleep.
I bid y'all adieu and hope to pop back in sometime soon.~ xoxo